


a lesbian and a tin can walk into a bar

by din-djarln (bi_elric)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Asexual Character, Asexual Din Djarin, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, Families of Choice, Fluff and Crack, Found Family, Gen, Lesbian Cara Dune, Lesbian Character, but very mild so i'm keeping this gen, greef is only briefly mentioned, maybe some swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-17
Updated: 2020-05-17
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:34:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24241396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bi_elric/pseuds/din-djarln
Summary: A series of moments in which Din and Cara experience the joys and woes of being literal partners in crime.
Relationships: Baby Yoda & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV), Cara Dune & The Mandalorian (The Mandalorian TV)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 120





	1. Platonic Mates

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, first fic i post in a thousand moons, be kind

“It’s coming towards you” Cara’s voice panted in Din’s earpiece as he sprung towards the exit.  
They had been working together, yes.  
’Twas not like he had any other option…  
The kid’s species seemed to be if not extinct very good at hiding and honestly? After almost a whole year of searching Din was Tired.

He tackled the bounty on the ground. A pained noise coming from the blue-ish form now on the ground.  
Cara joined them right after.  
“This one wasn’t that hard to find, huh Mando?”  
“Hey–” the bounty interjected  
“Shut up. Do we have anyone already on our list next?”  
“I don’t think so” Din patted his leg pieces getting up. “I think we can go to Karga as soon as we carbonize this guy”  
“I’m not guilty–“  
“Sure y’aren’t” Cara took the bounty by the collar and waited for the metallic sound and reassuring beep of closed cuffs to end that conversation, then she followed Mando towards the crest, the bounty quietly protesting in her hand’s iron grip

“It’s not like it isn’t fun–” Cara went on, the speeder’s engine the only interruption “I mean, we do have some funky adventures at time, right?”Mando just grunted in response  
“But don’t you need to take a couple of weeks to relax sometimes? I’m tired of stinky, sandy planets… can’t we just take like a week and fuck off in peace to a planet that’s not made of dirt?”Another grunt  
“Boy are you a pleasure to talk to” She rolled her eyes at her bounty partner’s shrug “Why are y’all like this?”  
The bounty’s eyes popped out, fearful “Y… you’re asking me?”  
“Ya. Why are guys so broody–“  
“No, sure, ask the bounty–” cut in the mandalorian  
“If you had dignified me with a response–“  
“I do think that relaxing is important–“ the bounty said.  
“I’d dignify you with a response if there wasn’t a prisoner right next to you”“I’m sorry I have to ask, are you two married, or?”  
“Shut up” the two partners said in unison.“Ew” Cara said, without missing a beat  
“No, really, I mean it, you’d do sound like you’re–“  
“I’m gonna take that ‘ew’ as an insult, Dune”  
“Shut up, Mando. You couldn’t sweep me off my feet–““I’m sorry are you really not married, I didn’t mean to–“  
“That’s cause you’re a fucking boulder–“  
“Fuck off, tin can”  
“You still sound like a married coupl-AH”  
Silence fell on the speeder

“What’d you do?” Mando asked without taking his eyes off the road  
“Me? Nothing…. the dude’s unconscious for his own reasons…”  
“Fair”


	2. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ManDadlorian has feelings and Cara is a bit of a dick

“Does he take his helmet off when he–“

Cara looked at this new bounty, a semi-human looking alien with wooden like skin, with a grin on her face

“I actually have no idea– Hey, Mando”

“I’ll carbonize you too.”

Cara made a face at the bounty who snickered

“Aight, a step back” Mando said, non-ceremoniously pushing the criminal towards the carbon and starting the carbonization process.

“You’ve been no fun lately” Cara said

“I know this is like the sixth bounty in a row to ask if you fuck with your helmet on, but–“

“Not the point”  
“Is there something bothering you?”

“No”

There was a silence for a bit, Cara knew by then that if she didn’t ask right away and let the silence pool, then Mando would–

“It’s just…”

There it is, she thought incapable of suppressing a cunning smile

“I don’t know, it’s just been a while since the kid’s had some time to just…”

Mando moved his hands as if that was a coherent way to end a sentence

“To… be a kid?”

“Yeah”

“Aw, look at Dad here…”

“Shut up”

“All worried for his little baby boy”

“I said–“

“Look at Man-Dad! All worried for his bundle of joy–“

Din groaned, walking away towards the cockpit.  
The door hissed as it opened and behind it appeared the kid’s cot.

“Don’t be a dick, Din! It’s gonna rub off on your son–“

Muffled from behind the door came the response “Shut the fuck up”

“You know it’s your fault for not wanting to take a kriff damned break, you know?”

“I said–“ the raised tone that came from the cockpit came to a halt when an excited “Coo” echoed through the ship

And if Cara heard a “Dad’s here” she’d never tell.


	3. Bantha milk on my armor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Din plays matchmaker

“So I was laying there,” Cara’s voice didn’t quite echo through the cantina, but to Mando it was as if it was the only sound in there. Maybe he had been drinking too much. “Bantha milk all over my armor–“  
Din sucked in from the straw that was coming out of his helmet. It wasn’t really the best, most dignifying way to drink during a night out in the town, but Cara had begged so much for them to just have an evening just for them to drink and if not chat at least a couple hours of de-stressing.  
“And this guy comes up to me and says–“  
“Hi, is everything good?” the waitress interrupts, picking up the empty glasses in front of the duo and smiling politely  
“All’s fine” “Thanks”  
Their voices overlap  
“I’m glad!”  
The silence is almost unbearable as the waitress picks up the last two glasses and steps aside as if to excuse herself from the two of them  
“I’m sorry if I’m being inappropriate–“Din’s eyes behind the visor look at the waitress with exasperation  
“But you two make such a nice couple, it doesn’t happen often around these parts to see–“  
“Not a couple, miss” Cara abrouptly says  
“Nope” Din joins in, loudly slurping from his drink  
“Just a couple of lads being pals”  
“But–“ he interjects, raising his helmet to make it even more clear that he’s looking at the waitress “You’re kind of her type so if you want–“  
the waitress became red as a beet and with an embarrassed chuckled glided away from their table  
“Mando i swear to kriff i’ll punch your face so hard the helmet’ll become a necessity aside from your fucking creed”  
“She is your type”  
“I can flirt on my own, thank you”  
“Sure”  
“Shut up”  
“It’s not everyday veteran extraordinaire Cara Dune doesn’t take a shot when the aim’s good, I wonder if we haven’t found your weakness–“  
“Mando–“  
“–waitresses who blush easily.”  
Cara drowned her screams in her drink

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually really fun to write so if yall have any suggestions leave them below!  
> (also if anyone's got a link to a mandalorian discord server please!!! link it to meee!!)
> 
> yell at me on tumblr @ din-djarln.tumblr.com/


End file.
